Miami, FL - October 19-23, 2011
Bienvenidos a Miami!
Posted 12/7/2011
Who are you people?
You people in the world who can maintain multiple blog posts in any given week? Who have an endless supply of witty banter and anecdotal stories that enhance your blog posts on multiple levels? Who have enough literary fodder to fill your blog post after post after post?
I don’t know who you people are … but I adore you. And I hate you. And I am jealous of you. And I am aspiring to be like you.
But not last month when I only managed to bust out one blog post about DC food trucks. But damn, was that not a tasty post? Mobile mac & cheese … come on.
Well, I’ve rounded up enough inspiration to write my Miami post and I think it’s probably taken this long to write it since I’ve only just now recovered from the trauma that was staying in a 2½ star ‘boutique’ hotel in downtown Miami. I guess Miami’s definition of boutique is as follows:
bou·tique \bü-ˈtēk\: a dilapidated arrangement of walls, windows and rooms which emit a curiously strong chlorine odor and in which the percentage of locating Tony Montana’s deceased hooker under your likely bedbug-infested sleeping quarters is unusually high. Oh, and there might also be a large disturbing gold-plated statue of a half-naked Buddha man-woman thing in the lobby.
My husband secretly packed a set of sheets and pillowcases into my luggage as I slept the night before and, while usually I make fun of him for his constant shunning of the outside world and overall misanthropy, this time, this particular time, I really really loved him for it.
And, I may have left the sheets behind in that hotel.
But you don’t come to this blog to read about dead hookers and naked Buddha’s do you? Nope! You want to hear about food and while the accommodations for part of my trip might have been far less than stellar, Miami food is off the chz-ain.
Is that how you spell chz-ain? I looked it up on the same site I found the definition of boutique and it didn’t have it.
Good eats in Miami started at Ceviche 105, a Peruvian café known for ridiculous, well, ceviche!
You people in the world who can maintain multiple blog posts in any given week? Who have an endless supply of witty banter and anecdotal stories that enhance your blog posts on multiple levels? Who have enough literary fodder to fill your blog post after post after post?
I don’t know who you people are … but I adore you. And I hate you. And I am jealous of you. And I am aspiring to be like you.
But not last month when I only managed to bust out one blog post about DC food trucks. But damn, was that not a tasty post? Mobile mac & cheese … come on.
Well, I’ve rounded up enough inspiration to write my Miami post and I think it’s probably taken this long to write it since I’ve only just now recovered from the trauma that was staying in a 2½ star ‘boutique’ hotel in downtown Miami. I guess Miami’s definition of boutique is as follows:
bou·tique \bü-ˈtēk\: a dilapidated arrangement of walls, windows and rooms which emit a curiously strong chlorine odor and in which the percentage of locating Tony Montana’s deceased hooker under your likely bedbug-infested sleeping quarters is unusually high. Oh, and there might also be a large disturbing gold-plated statue of a half-naked Buddha man-woman thing in the lobby.
My husband secretly packed a set of sheets and pillowcases into my luggage as I slept the night before and, while usually I make fun of him for his constant shunning of the outside world and overall misanthropy, this time, this particular time, I really really loved him for it.
And, I may have left the sheets behind in that hotel.
But you don’t come to this blog to read about dead hookers and naked Buddha’s do you? Nope! You want to hear about food and while the accommodations for part of my trip might have been far less than stellar, Miami food is off the chz-ain.
Is that how you spell chz-ain? I looked it up on the same site I found the definition of boutique and it didn’t have it.
Good eats in Miami started at Ceviche 105, a Peruvian café known for ridiculous, well, ceviche!
Look at the delicious bowl of snacks that comes over to your
table as soon as you sit. I have no idea what these are, maybe little roasted
corn kernels? Anyone out there in the interweb know? They were crunchy, salty
and delicious. But not as delicious as …
fresh squeezed passion fruit juice that tastes like velvet, tropical love. And do you know what real love looks like?
It looks like the Red & White Ceviche plate you can order with octopus, corvina fish, shrimp and calamari mixed with red peppers. This plate is citrus, spice, and everything nice. The best part? We’re not talking about no baby chunks of seafood here. More like huge hunks of raw fish with an incredibly fresh taste.
It’s true, ceviche isn’t for everyone. Most people can’t fathom that citrus juice can ‘cook’ food but if there was ever an opportunity in your life to try something outside the box, to take your history of food-eating to the next level, to take a risk, ceviche is it, my friend.
Now, it would be a travesty of epic proportions to leave Miami without indulging in soul-satisfying Cuban food and David's Cafe in South Beach is so yummy, I’ve actually been twice in my life. I don’t know who David is, where he came from or where he learned to make such delicious moros (red beans and rice) but he is the man.
It’s true, ceviche isn’t for everyone. Most people can’t fathom that citrus juice can ‘cook’ food but if there was ever an opportunity in your life to try something outside the box, to take your history of food-eating to the next level, to take a risk, ceviche is it, my friend.
Now, it would be a travesty of epic proportions to leave Miami without indulging in soul-satisfying Cuban food and David's Cafe in South Beach is so yummy, I’ve actually been twice in my life. I don’t know who David is, where he came from or where he learned to make such delicious moros (red beans and rice) but he is the man.
I started off the meal right with crispy fried plantain chips and a sweet, spicy dipping sauce. Plantain chips will forever trump plain old potato chips for me any day of the week ending in ‘day’.
Then, the meal that makes everything better, makes any mistakes in life right again, is this.
Bistec de Pollo Empanizado, or, better known as, breaded chicken steak with moros and fried, sweet plantains. Sweet, juicy flattened chicken with a crunchy cornmeal-esque coating along with the ever-present red beans and rice and quintessential sweet plantains, a chewy partner in crime on this plate.
Thank you David, you sweet sweet man, for founding David’s Café in South Beach.
My trip to Miami ended with a visit with one of my dearest friends, Emma, who is getting married at the end of January 2012. I, along with two other dear friends, Sara and Krissy, are making Emma’s wedding cake (no pressure!) and can’t wait to attempt to replicate the following cake and NOT make it look like a two year old high on sugar and equipped with crayons made it.
Thank you David, you sweet sweet man, for founding David’s Café in South Beach.
My trip to Miami ended with a visit with one of my dearest friends, Emma, who is getting married at the end of January 2012. I, along with two other dear friends, Sara and Krissy, are making Emma’s wedding cake (no pressure!) and can’t wait to attempt to replicate the following cake and NOT make it look like a two year old high on sugar and equipped with crayons made it.
See, we made a pact almost 4 years ago to make each other’s wedding cakes, cupcakes, whoopee pies, whatever. Think we can handle it? I think so, especially since this is how Sara’s wedding cake turned out:
And my wedding cupcakes looked like this:
Not too shabby, eh? Well, I met and had dinner with Emma at Seasons52, a very, very delicious, locally-aware and health-conscious restaurant and, which I found out afterwards, is a small chain. Now, normally I don’t feature chains on my blog but our dinner was exceptionally delicious and I think restaurants like Seasons52 have a pretty killer model of the future of restaurateuring with serving only food in season and as locally-sourced as possible.
And did I mention that nothing on the menu is over 450 calories? Yup, no single meal, app, entrée or dessert is over 450 calories so after you feel so proud of yourself for eating locally and seasonally, you can also pat yourself on the back for not eating 3-4 times more calories, butter, fat and other nonsensical ingredients like bisodium phosphate.
I just made that up. I don’t even know if bisodium phosphate even exists but if it did, I’m sure it would be terrible for you.
We started off with a simply flavor-packed lamb gyro flatbread.
And did I mention that nothing on the menu is over 450 calories? Yup, no single meal, app, entrée or dessert is over 450 calories so after you feel so proud of yourself for eating locally and seasonally, you can also pat yourself on the back for not eating 3-4 times more calories, butter, fat and other nonsensical ingredients like bisodium phosphate.
I just made that up. I don’t even know if bisodium phosphate even exists but if it did, I’m sure it would be terrible for you.
We started off with a simply flavor-packed lamb gyro flatbread.
Ugh, so crispy, tangy and delicious and again, pretty guilt-free since we split this among three people and the whole app had less than 450 calories! For dinner, I chose free-range chicken with roasted brussell sprouts an wild rice and it was oh so comforting and nice.
Finally, dessert. Every night, there is an assortment of mini parfaits for dessert and when our lovely waitress brought over the tray of 8 different kinds, believe that this table of three sweet tooth’s chose all but two!
Look at these yummy pint-sized masterpieces! You’re looking at, from left to right (and if I can remember correctly since the consumption of these little beauties left me joyfully and mildly brain dead for days): Peanut butter mousse, Pumpkin pie, Carrot cake, Pecan pie, Mocha bliss, and Red velvet cake. I think you need to see them from another angle.
Yup, even more delicious from this angle. When the desserts were left behind and the waitress gone, there was that slight awkward moment where you look around the table at each other and you know you are all thinking the same thing. You all want to try ALL of them but don’t know how the others feel about sharing desserts. You know, hot spoon-on-spoon action. Finally, we decided on some ground rules for the desserts since it was clear that we were all sticking our spoons into each of these (and really, we don’t give a crap about sharing desserts, only friends around this table!) and we dubbed this particular experience ‘Dessert Olympics’. It went like this.
One person starts with picking one of the desserts that is their favorite. Everyone gets to stick their long, slender spoon deep down into the soft, fluffy layers of mousse, cake, whipped cream, mousse, cake, whipped cream and so on. Even after everyone enjoys a giant bite of the dessert, there is still at least one or more spoonfuls remaining. The person that originally picked the dessert then gets to finish it and the baton is passed to the next person.
Some important notes:
1) It’s really helpful to order an even number of desserts for the number of people to avoid that “um, there is one more left, who is going to eat it?” situation in which everyone really does want to eat it but is crippled by their manners or fear of looking like the table ‘finisher’,
2) If you are ill, don’t be a douche bag and participate in Dessert Olympics. Share your friendship, not your mono,
3) Finally, never, ever leave a scrap of dessert behind … EVER. You are out to eat, with friends. You’ve already committed to eating dessert so do it all the way. Nothing’s worth doing unless it’s worth doing right you eating your entire dessert is the right thing to do. Always.
And here's what it looks like afterwards.
One person starts with picking one of the desserts that is their favorite. Everyone gets to stick their long, slender spoon deep down into the soft, fluffy layers of mousse, cake, whipped cream, mousse, cake, whipped cream and so on. Even after everyone enjoys a giant bite of the dessert, there is still at least one or more spoonfuls remaining. The person that originally picked the dessert then gets to finish it and the baton is passed to the next person.
Some important notes:
1) It’s really helpful to order an even number of desserts for the number of people to avoid that “um, there is one more left, who is going to eat it?” situation in which everyone really does want to eat it but is crippled by their manners or fear of looking like the table ‘finisher’,
2) If you are ill, don’t be a douche bag and participate in Dessert Olympics. Share your friendship, not your mono,
3) Finally, never, ever leave a scrap of dessert behind … EVER. You are out to eat, with friends. You’ve already committed to eating dessert so do it all the way. Nothing’s worth doing unless it’s worth doing right you eating your entire dessert is the right thing to do. Always.
And here's what it looks like afterwards.
And that was Miami. Minus the nights spent awake and convinced I could feel the bed bugs biting me, it was a really fantastic time and I can’t wait to go back to Miami to pretend to know how to draw henna on Emma’s wedding cake.
Don’t worry, pics will be shared.
Don’t worry, pics will be shared.
On 12/7/2011, Emma said,
"There are worse things that your bed could smell like than chlorine bleach. Remember it's very difficult to get Tony Montana's hooker's stench out of the bed.
For next time: You know you're not supposed to eat the cockroach appetizer they bring you in the Ceviche restaurant. Remember, it's an appetizer so it's preparing the digestive tract for the unfamiliar raw fish. Think about it. Just kidding, but those "corn kernals" really do look like bugs!
And for the wedding cake: You mah dear are the Mac Daddy of cakes (along with our dear friend Sara who rocks at making turd like modeling chocolate, and Krissy who rocks at churning out massive amounts of cupcakes. The henna cake will look hennaful I am sure!
Great description of dessert Olympics. You forgot to mention that our waitress boycotted our games each time she made a pass at our table and realized that we still weren't done!
And, David's is good, but there is a restaurant that you MUST try next time you are in Miami (or anyone else for that matter). It is a latin/asian fusion grill called "Off the Grill" on Kendall Drive. It is healthy and there is a Paleo menu you can partake in if you like. Their freshly cut and fried plantain chips will blow your mind. My favorite dish is the crabcakes with the spicy shrimp remoulade. Beware, despite the latin fusion concept you would think that there wouldn't be any spicy food b/c the latin folk hate spice (yes surprising to most folks. Mexicans love spicy, but not Cubans), OTG dabbles in spicing up their food so be prepared.
Sorry to hijack your food blog, but I do it out of love and gratitude for such an awesome time!"
"There are worse things that your bed could smell like than chlorine bleach. Remember it's very difficult to get Tony Montana's hooker's stench out of the bed.
For next time: You know you're not supposed to eat the cockroach appetizer they bring you in the Ceviche restaurant. Remember, it's an appetizer so it's preparing the digestive tract for the unfamiliar raw fish. Think about it. Just kidding, but those "corn kernals" really do look like bugs!
And for the wedding cake: You mah dear are the Mac Daddy of cakes (along with our dear friend Sara who rocks at making turd like modeling chocolate, and Krissy who rocks at churning out massive amounts of cupcakes. The henna cake will look hennaful I am sure!
Great description of dessert Olympics. You forgot to mention that our waitress boycotted our games each time she made a pass at our table and realized that we still weren't done!
And, David's is good, but there is a restaurant that you MUST try next time you are in Miami (or anyone else for that matter). It is a latin/asian fusion grill called "Off the Grill" on Kendall Drive. It is healthy and there is a Paleo menu you can partake in if you like. Their freshly cut and fried plantain chips will blow your mind. My favorite dish is the crabcakes with the spicy shrimp remoulade. Beware, despite the latin fusion concept you would think that there wouldn't be any spicy food b/c the latin folk hate spice (yes surprising to most folks. Mexicans love spicy, but not Cubans), OTG dabbles in spicing up their food so be prepared.
Sorry to hijack your food blog, but I do it out of love and gratitude for such an awesome time!"
